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Hermes Franca back in the UFC

Thank God that the UFC hasn’t held being stupid against Hermes Franca. Because he is one dumb motherfucker. First he uses steroids to try and help rehab an injury so he doesn’t have to pull out of his title fight. Let’s break down why that was stupid:

  • He didn’t use a steroid that would clear his system in time for his fight
  • He did this before fighting in California, where everyone gets tested
  • Even if the fight hadn’t been in Cali, title fighters are ALWAYS tested

So as far as doing steroids go, he did them in the dumbest possible way – albeit for the least sinister reasons. And with that in mind he came forward the day he got caught and admitted he used steroids, and that he was sorry. Which again is a fucking stupid thing to do. Look at all the other guys out there who LIED and got their sentences reduced to six months.

Last but not least, Franca then asked to be released from his UFC contract so he could fight overseas during his suspension. The problem? You’re kinda sorta not fucking allowed to do that! I’m still amazed that your average Cheetos-stained blogger knows this, but a guy who makes a living off of fighting doesn’t. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, super double fuck dumb.

But all these mistakes were at least honest and sincere ones, which is why I’m happy that the UFC has agreed to pull Franca’s contract out of the trash bin so he can fight again for the promotion. He’ll be showing up at UFC 87 to take on wrestling powerhouse Frankie Edgar, who was last seen getting pulverized by Gray Maynard. While Frankie’s got more gas than a Texaco, I’ll be giving Hermes the edge since he’s got more ways to finish the fight.

**CORRECTION** We initially listed Franca’s opponent as Gray Maynard when in fact he’s going to be fighting Frankie Edgar. In the future when I try to call people stupid, I will attempt not to make stupid mistakes in the same breath.

11 COMMENTS
  • FRANKIE says:

    Where did you see Maynard listed as Franca’s opponent? Everything I’ve seen has said it’ll be Franca vs. Edgar.

  • Hermes Franca says:

    whoa there, what are you trying to say?!

  • You are correct, FRANKIE. Fixed.

  • Franca is a great guy and a great fighter who needed to make some money so he could live. Looks like you guys have “missed the bus” again. Weak post.

  • x5BoltMainx says:

    He shouldn’t have a hard time disposing of Edgar.

  • Mike_N says:

    Nice. This should be a lot of fun: we’ll be saved from lay-and-pray since Hermes doesn’t walk around at 185 and Frankie’s last name isn’t Sherk.

  • Mike_N says:

    And Tony, I don’t think anyone was knocking Hermes’s character–Ryan was just making the obvious point that he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

  • #1 Jackal says:

    i think that deserves a bitch slap. make sure you record it so that we can watch it

  • Jersey Tomato says:

    Franca is a great guy, a great fighter…but a total dumb ass. What kind of fool tells the Athletic Commission the truth about their doing ‘roids?

    Take a lesson from Sherk (also no brain surgeon). Sean has half the world believing he not only never did the stuff but that the even CSAC agreed with him.

  • Tommy Gun says:

    Actually Hermes did NOT tell the truth to the CSAC and his story was just a big sob story. The steroid he he got caught using doesn’t necessaily heal injuries faster, it’s used to keep muscle mass while decreasing size. So his story doesn’t even add up. That little fact should be added to the breakdown of Hermes stupidity.

  • cass says:

    wow ok i think you are going a little overbored. Why would you bad mouth someone so much? Then act like its so great that they are allowing hermes to come back? hermes is a great guy, yes maybe he has made a few mistakes but doesnt everyone????? Anyways if you dont even know the guy and never met him i think you shouldn’t have so much to say

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