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Help us win 500 bucks

Contest ahoy!

Fiveouncesofpain.com is partnering up with MMARated.com to launch the ultimate user-generated mixed martial arts contest entitled “MMA Uncensored.” For the first time ever, MMA fans will get a chance to share their personal MMA-related media with the world and actually win money for it! Snapped a funny photo of a UFC champion at a bar? Send it in. Shot footage of a a fighter interacting with fans? We want to see it. The user that submits the most intriguing photo OR video will win a $500 cash prize.

With UFC83 right around the corner, it shouldn’t be too hard for me and Jake to sweep this fucking contest and upload the best pictures. What we need from you guys are good ideas. Montreal is going to be swarming with MMA celebrities, and we hardly need an excuse to approach them and get them to clown for the camera. But I honestly can’t think of anything clever past hauling around a giant floppy dildo and shaking it in people’s faces.

Here’s the deal: if one of you guys gives us an idea that wins us the $500 prize, we’ll send you $100 of it. So get cracking, people! And if you want to take some of the ideas yourself and compete against us, it’s all good. The more jackals causing mayhem, the better.

28 COMMENTS
  • FightStinker is RIGHT! says:

    are you off your meds jake? Why would we help you to only get $100 bucks of the $500?

    Sounds like one of those Nigerian Scam if you ask me.

    I’ll be send you my bank account info and my social in the next few MINUTES. Thanks can’t wait for the money!

  • garth says:

    so…for doing effectively nothing you think you deserve more? mkay.
    i’d say you should get as many fighters as you can to punch you in the stomach while you’re drunk.

  • clint notestine says:

    you need to get dana to wear a free randy t shirt. Or if he is there get him to wear it or hold it up.

  • FightStinker is RIGHT! says:

    sounds like a fucking plan! That’ll for sure win the $500 bucks.

  • I signed up for fightliner! says:

    Just submit the horseface picture that wins any contest anywhere.

  • clint notestine says:

    If you can get a pic of you guys in a street fight with the sherdog guys that would be awesome and maybe get a ufc fighter in on it.

  • kentyman says:

    How about the infamous grapes picture?

  • Atom says:

    How about we get the 500, and you give us 100 more?

    Seriously.. wtf guys?

  • Tertio says:

    You go the GSP afterparty and try to locate his mom. You have jake take her to a corner where you snap pictures while he slaps her around. Have someone catch you on film while you show said pictures to GSP: Hilarity ensues.

  • Atom says:

    Oh.. well, I just re-read it and I guess it makes sense since you two would be the ones setting up and taking the pictures. Although if the horseface pic wins, I don’t see how you have claim to any of that $$.

    Randy with his Free Randy shirt, Jardine in his Viking shirt, and Dana in a HumanCockfighting shirt posing together would proabably take the cake.

    How ’bout a pic of Lesnar shirtless holding a sign that says: “Its a sword, GODAMNIT”

  • micjasbro says:

    Your idea’s pretty good!!

  • Yeah to clarify:

    We only want your ideas, not your pictures. We encourage you all to enter the contest on your own to win the full 500 bucks. But if you’re lazy (as most of you probably are), you can win 100$ by simply telling US what WE should do.

  • micjasbro says:

    the three together in their own shirts is a good idea, but that would never happen. I was referring to Ryan’s idea.

  • clint notestine says:

    You should try to raise some money and pay horse face to “escort” you during her time in Canada. I know it would probably cost more than $500 but well worth it.

  • FightStinker is RIGHT! says:

    you should repeatedly beat up Jake while wearing a chuck Liddell mask in different areas of cananda…like jake leaves the grocery store and BAM chuck smashes him.

    Kinda like what chuck was talking about with kimbo beating up people on the skreets.

  • clint notestine says:

    “you should repeatedly beat up Jake while wearing a chuck Liddell mask in different areas of cananda…like jake leaves the grocery store and BAM chuck smashes him.”
    I vote for this one… only if you randomly attack the homeless too. Do you have homeless in Canada?

  • FightStinker is RIGHT! says:

    hell yea…after chuck smashes Jake he’ll be the only homeless person in Canada.

  • Higgz says:

    “How ’bout a pic of Lesnar shirtless holding a sign that says: “Its a sword, GODAMNIT'” –This would be hilarious!!!

    I’m sure Monte Cox will be there. Can you make a shirt that says, “I signed Fedor…kinda” in XXXXL?

  • Higgz says:

    Wait, does it have to be a “FIGHTER” or can it be an MMA related personality?

  • Pontus says:

    Just rent a giant frog suit and have gsp suit up!

  • SaVaGe says:

    9Tertio
    You go the GSP afterparty and try to locate his mom. You have jake take her to a corner where you snap pictures while he slaps her around. Have someone catch you on film while you show said pictures to GSP: Hilarity ensues.

    I separated (from laughter) something around my sternum when I read this.

  • x5BoltMainx says:

    How about wearing a Human Cockfighting t-shirt & getting a fighter to bitch slap you & calling you an ignorant cunt? Takes less effort than trying to stage a “street” fight. Or you can go up to a fighter & call him a homo. That’s guaranteed to have sparks flying. Plus you’re Canadian, you have free insurance, take one for the team.

  • operator says:

    Wear an american flag for a diaper and ask Randy Coutore for an interview. Or maybe a British Flag if Bisbing is there. If that doesn’t work try a Canadian flag and start a riot like it is a Guns and Roses concert.

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Get a pic with Matt Serra while holding up a tyrannosaur toy behind him. If he tries to kick your ass, just put your hand on his forehead and watch him wave his tiny arms at you.

    Get a pic with Rich Franklin sticking his head out the side window of a car. It’d be ideal if you could smash the windshield, but Anderson Silva might kick your ass for messing with his bitch.

    Get a pic of Mac Danzig being told that his Boca burger was made of bunnies. To keep him from killing you, get a handful of ants and threaten to squish them.

    Get a pic of Ed Herman while you set off a firecracker in his hair. When he complains, tell him you thought he was Gray Maynard. I mean, who can tell the difference anyway?

    Get a pic of Edith blowing somebody in an alley. How hard can that be? The hard part is finding somebody willing to bathe in iodine afterwards.

    Or my personal favorite: Help Roxy track down some of the people that talk shit about her on this site, and get a pic of the look on their faces when she takes a swing. Alternately, submit x-rays of what’s left of their arms after an arm-bar.

  • clint notestine says:

    Make a YAMMA shirt and wear it to the event.

  • operator says:

    Make some copies of your grape photo and ask them to sighn it and hold it up for a picture. Then you can frame it and raffle it off to the highest bidder.

  • hankd says:

    I’ve already set the bar with this picture of my brother…
    http://www.mmarated.com/users/photo/242/395.html

    I’ve yet to see another Fedor choke picture anywhere…

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