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Guy Calls Fedor a Fatty, Surprisingly Still Alive

Thanks for setting me up on this blind date, guys. It’s too bad that Tim only lasts 30 seconds or else we might have had a future together.

Michael David Smith over at MMA Fanhouse got a hold of the WAMMA heavyweight champion for a few questions. It’s your pretty standard Fedor interview, covering topics like media criticisms of Vadim Finkelchtein, why Fedor isn’t in the UFC, potential future opponents, training regimen, how many hookers Aleks killed before he contracted Hep B, and Fedor’s role in ending the Cold War. Or something like that. The one notable excerpt from the interview is when Smith essentially calls Fedor out for being shaped like the members of Sal’s Used Cars bowling team.

Fanhouse: We’ve all heard that you train very hard for your fights, and that you’ve trained as hard for the Arlovski fight as you did for the Tim Sylvia fight. And yet you don’t look as cut and muscular as most MMA fighters. Does that say anything about how your training differs from other MMA athletes, like do you do less weightlifting?

Fedor: All of my training is the same. Every fighter has a different physique and different baggage they bring to the ring. I don’t rely on weight training. I haven’t for several years. It’s really more focusing on the opponent and working on sparring, wrestling and certain activities I do. It’s all about the training camp. All the hard work and all the results that show up in the ring is a result of what’s done before.

What gets me about this little exchange is how Smith knew exactly what he was asking but tried to beat around the bush a little bit (which perfectly describes what I’m about to do to your mother. Zinger!). Then Fedor responds directly to the question posed about how much weightlifting he does and basically points out that it doesn’t matter what he looks like because he still gets the job done rather impressively. Personally, I would have liked it a whole lot better if Smith asked “What is the ratio of Drake’s Cakes to vegetables in your diet? How about Chips Ahoy to fish? Oh, and what about Zesty Taco Doritos to lean ground beef? Fedor? Are you still there?”

The point here is that Fedor is completely right. A fighter’s physique has little to do with his effectiveness in a fight. The vast majority of those who have tested positive for steroids over the past few years wound up losing their fights, despite the fact that they may have improved their physical appearance slightly. Fedor is entirely unimpressive to look at, but with the proper training and technique he has become the greatest heavyweight in the short history of this sport we call Human Cockfighting.