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Goldie’s got a new pair of… words

Welp, it was bound to happen. Mike Goldberg finally found some new words to overuse, misuse, and generally abuse like Lennie from Of Mice and Men with a whole litter of puppies.

Whoops, forgot where I was for a second. I meant like Chris Farley with a dinner roll.

UFC 82 marked the debut of his new favorite: “switch kick“. I’ve got nothing wrong with dropping some knowledge on us during the fight, but when it’s the same term over and over, it becomes obvious that before the fight you asked someone more knowledgeable for a new verbal play toy.

In related news, he abandoned his previous favorite of “teep” for the more universally understood “push kick”. In just two rounds of the Cummo/Fioravanti fight on the preliminary card, we got to hear these Goldberg nuggets:

“Good push kicks.”

“Cummo looking to use that push kick both offensively and defensively.”

“He utilized those push kicks in round number 1.”

I’d love to meet Mike someday and ask him “Oh hey, what are those front kick thingies called again?” just to see how proud he’d be that he actually knew something. You know, like when that dumb kid in class happens to finally know the answer to the teacher’s question, and he waves his hand in the air in that “Ooh-ooh, pick me!” kinda way?

And then I’d immediately sack tap him.

  • ninjitsu says:

    I think Joe Rogan learned a new word, too. My friends picked up on Joe using “patented” 4-5 times during Koscheck’s fight, and it became funnier each time he used it…


  • pauli says:

    as much as we may complain, things ARE better than they used to be. i was watching ufc 40 the other day, and mike described someone as “very warrior-y.”

  • operator says:

    I’ll take Mike Goldberg over Bill Goldberg any day. Watch out for the up kick. He makes me laugh.

  • He said two completely stupid things, but I keep forgetting them… fuck that’s annoying…

  • Jemaleddin says:

    The Mike-isms I hate are: “he’s covering the mouth – not to choke him, obviously – just to disrupt his breathing, if you will,” and “spinning back fist – he’s taking a page out of Shonie Carter’s book/overhand right – he’s taking a page out of Chuck Liddell’s book” as though they invented those strikes.

  • Swedish guy says:

    Yeah I agree – the rate at which pages are taken out of people’s books, they’ll soon be all out of pages.

  • #1 jackal says: is like licking a sweaty salty ball sack, If you will. – Mike Goldberg

    (and you know that goldberg had to say it, because the sentence ends with “if you will”)

  • kentyman says:

    Looking to impose his will, if you will, is Chris Wilson.

  • operator says:

    They should fire him and hire yoda.

  • Mr. Theplague says:

    “He utilized his asshole as a coffee percolator in round number 1.”

  • kentyman says:

    Looks like Mr. Theplague took a page out of Luke Cummo’s book.

  • P W says:

    As long as I don’t have to listen to the “the ground game is like a chess match” analogy I’m pretty much fine with anything.

    “Getting hit by one of his leg kicks is like getting hit by a baseball bat” – about Pedro Rizzo in EVERY SINGLE ROUND of EVERY SINGLE BOUT during his heydays.

  • kentyman says:

    The good kicks sound like a meaty thud.