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Gina Carano signs on for female Expendables rip-off

For a woman who’s star many expected to fizzle after a so-so reception to her first big role in Steven Soderbergh’s Haywire, Gina Carano sure is doing well. She’s just finished filming Fast and Furious 6 which I’m sure will make a bajillion dollars, and now she’s been cast as an anchor to a an all-female ‘Expandables-inspired project.’ Tell us more, Variety!

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to make a movie that is supposed to be the female version of ‘The Expendables’ without Gina Carano in it. It would be like making Twix without caramel or Jamba Juice without jamba,” said Shankar, whose shingle recently co-produced Joe Carnahan’s “The Grey,” Pete Travis’ “Dredd 3D,” Andrew Dominik’s upcoming Brad Pitt-starrer “Killing Them Softly” and the viral Internet hit “The Punisher: Dirty Laundry,” starring Thomas Jane.

Yep, movie producers aren’t even pretending to have original ideas any more. Now they just go “You know Avengers? Yeah, like that but with talking dogs. What a twist! Boom, baby. Money in the bank.”

No hints on who else might be cast but if they’re serious about hitting Expendables levels of female action stars, I’d ask for Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Kate Beckinsale, Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, and either Linda Hamilton or Sigorney Weaver in the elderly Schwarzenegger cameo role. That would probably downgrade Gina from the caramel Twix position to … coconut Bounty status? Or in Expendables-inspired terms, the Randy Couture of the bunch.