Family Matters (inspired by Frickshun)
- November 9, 2010 at 7:56 pm #24141
Feel free to post any personal stories you assholes wish.
Last night something happened to me that instantaneously reminded me of a story that frick once posted about an incident involving him, his wife and a mini-van, though not quite so amusing.
Yesterday we decided to go to her mom and dad’s house, take the dogs to spend the day. They live in a suburb of West Palm Beach named Loxahatchee and the smallest lot in this area is an acre and a half. It’s about an hour and fifteen minute drive. Everything was peachy all day, playin ball with the dogs, smoked some cigars and other fine zmokables, had some brews, enjoying the great weather, just tits. But everytime we go (weekly) she fucking takes forever to wrap chit up and get da fuck out. The sun set and the sqeeters(elephants with fucking wings round those parts) started feasting. I told her lets get going, of coarse thirty minutes later she doesn’t seem like she’s going anywhere. So I look at her with the ‘ol stank eye(Frick!) and tell her let’s go, I’m serious!
We leave. She’s obviously pissed, so I pick the scab. She starts giving me some BS bout how her mom made dinner for us and we just up and left. The bitch wasn’t even close to feeding and the food been ready! So I pull over hastely and begin to make a U turn, She says, “what are you doing!”, I’m turning around! “No, keep going”, Fuck that, you want to eat, I dont want to deal with this chit!. The bitch opens the door steps out, grabs her purse and starts walking!
Now the difference between my incident and Fricks is that I took off with no intentions of turning around. I get a call two minutes later from her, “come get me.” my response? You want to get out the car like a fucking baby? Go whereever the fuck you thought you were going!”
So, I’m at home and she’s at mommys. This morning she sends a text, “are you coming to pick me up?” You said you always wanted to ride the train right? This is a perfect time!
There’s been some chit in the family going on the past week and I get it, but fuck that chit right!? I swear i feel like I’m in highschool again…November 9, 2010 at 8:30 pm #225778
elephants with fucking wings round those parts – LOL
Last two texts from my Sister talking about my 6 year old nephew.
“Did you know that Squirrels only bite when you hunt them, or Kick them. When you pet them nicely, they won’t bite.”
“Mom, Evan (8 year old) told me to eat half of his egg, So I took a bite, and now I’m getting more protein then him.”November 9, 2010 at 10:07 pm #225789
It is acceptable to hit a woman, open hand, if she weighs more than you, is your sister and continues to steal from you and your mother?November 9, 2010 at 10:12 pm #225791
G–>oh how I miss the OLD FUCKING SITE!!
I have a classic tale of frickshun family fun:
Since Mrs. frick’s mantra is “you gotta spend to save”…..when a coupon enters my house, it MUST BE USED. Therefore, my wife & I were perusing a somewhat higher-end baby store (clothes, furniture, toys, strollers, formula, etc.) several years ago when my girls were not even 1 & 2 yrs old b/c of said coupon.
Confession time: I love to BROWSE. Not a big fan of shopping (unless it involves “lifting”), BUT I sure do love to browse & comparison shop!! My lovely wife decides that my babies (literally @ the time), ABSOLUTELY NEEDED a play kitchen. I don’t recall but I think it cost somewhere around $75. Not a lot of money but considering we were relatively new homeowners (read: broke) & our very small kids didn’t NEED new stuff to play with…..I did NOT want her to make this purchase.
So I started in w/the passive aggressive behavior (b/c I’m a manchild). In spite of my desire NOT to buy it, she felt it was necessary. After all…..it was ON SALE!! The box was large & unwieldy. I refused to help. Come to think of it, my wife may have still be pregnant w/our younger one!! She struggled to get it in the back of our Pathfinder (not very big inside). I think a stranger even offered to help. BUT NOT ME, PAL!! When she hopped in the car, I was still being a pissy little bitch about it. Although the store is a 6-7 mile drive from our house, SHE DECIDED TO JUMP OUT OF THE CAR.
I was absolutely furious @ this point. How absurd that my wife & mother of our children couldn’t have a dispute w/o jumping out of the fucking car. She wouldn’t listen to my pleas of “Get in the car you fucking cunt!!” She ran off in such a way that I wasn’t able to follow by car. The tricky bitch managed to lose me. After driving around for a good 5-10 seconds I called off the search.
I got on the highway & proceeded to drive home. Guess who I saw walking on the side of the highway….like a deranged crackhead. Yes indeed, it was Mrs. frick!! Once again I pleaded to “get in the MOTHERFUCKING car!!” but she pressed on w/her silent protest march down the highway. Naturally, I pursued. After all, she is the love of my life!! She darted across to the OTHER SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY!! Crazy bitch.
I had to get off the highway & flip around. When I got back on due North, I saw her walking on the shoulder. Just as I was pulling up to scream @ her some more…….THE COPS PULLED UP 1st!! They told her it’s illegal for her dumb ass to be walking on the side of the highway (no shit?). Finally, all my coaxing paid off & she jumped back in the car. STUPID FUCKING PLAY KITCHEN.November 9, 2010 at 10:45 pm #225796
God bless you AND your wife!November 9, 2010 at 10:52 pm #225797
Do you still have the kitchen?November 9, 2010 at 11:07 pm #225800
I don’t know how you guys aren’t alcoholics with all of the drama in your lives. If I had to deal with this type of stuff, I would probably neuter myself for fear of having to put my unborn kids through this mess.November 10, 2010 at 12:08 am #225805
silly guidosNovember 10, 2010 at 12:48 am #225808
I give it two days before she reads this post and it’s another week of not talking.November 10, 2010 at 12:48 am #225807
FBM, raising chillrens in that “mess” gives them experience in REAL-life situations so that they don’t grow up in an anime fantasy, no game wit da ladies havin, can’t leave mommy and daddy’s house, so proud of themselves for fixing a hot-water knob prawlen kinda way. Feels me?November 10, 2010 at 3:55 am #225819
Subo–>I think we gave it away about 2 yrs ago!!
FiveBalls–>It’s just life thru my eyes. I wouldn’t redo any of it. My wife is super pig-headed & I’m a giant anus.November 10, 2010 at 5:44 am #225827
Well, since we are sharing…
I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 years now, and we have lived together 2 of those. It has been the most stable relationship i have ever been in, where i felt both of us could be open and honest with one another.
For the last 14 months or so, i have been living away from Australia, and working in Antarctica. During this time, we have had some issues, as anyone would with a long distance thing, but we managed.
On the phone last week, she mentioned that she has been feeling especially lonely lately, and when she goes out with the girls, she gets all the attention from guys, and then she feels guilty about it for some reason. She went on to mention how she has missed that form of phsyical intimacy blah blah blah
So i proceeded to say that it’s ridiculous for her to feel guilty, and if she is missing that, she should feel free to go out and kiss as many guys as she likes when she is out with the girls. Go and get that attention she misses. As long as it’s just a physical attraction and it’s left to just that one night, go ahead and kiss him, flirt, dance, just be a cock tease in general and get her fix.
I mean, i’ve still got another 6 months here. I figure, if i dont let her do this, it will just build up to the point of her getting drunk and then end up fucking some random guy, so why not just allow something fun and harmless and avert a big crisis, right?
She asks me, “Are you serious about this? Is this really how you feel?”
I said “Sure. It’s no big deal. During the last summer, i got lots of physical attention from the girls down here.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.
It was also the wrong thing to suggest for her to do.
I got an earful of complaining/blah blah crying/blah blah anger for the next hour or so before she hung up. As much as it was just things like hugs, dirty dancing, getting close on a couch and watching a movie, the odd massage or occasional nude swim at the beach, she didn’t believe me. Or like my explanations much more than what she thought they meant…
I should mention that on occasions during our relationship, there have been times when we have kissed other people, like i would kiss my mates wife and he would kiss her, or when we have had sex on a couch while on another couch in the same room some friends were having sex. So i had reason to believe telling my girlfriend it’s okay to kiss other guys wouldn’t end in this sort of drama…
But “thats just having a little fun ‘with you’ when we are all drunk. How can you even think of doing stuff like that with others?” was the reply i got.
So guys, please don’t ever tell your girlfriend that its ok for her to kiss other men. It is apparently never a safe thing to say, regardless of how safe you think it is to say it.November 10, 2010 at 2:56 pm #225850
GrassHoppa–>you silly bastard!! If you’re in a committed relationship, there’s no way a chick wants to hear that. You should have said “Don’t feel guilty. You’re very attractive!! I’m sorry about our current situation but it’s temporary & I will make it up to you tenfold when I get back. You will be bow-legged for a week.”
Then you make sure to NEVER EVER EVER tell her that you flirt/kiss/dance/massage/fuck/talk intimately/say her name or anything close…..WITH ANOTHER CHICK!!
When my marriage was rocky, I too told my wife to go & seek out someone elses affection. But I just wanted an easy out. Maybe you feel the same way subliminally. You want to cut off that intimacy. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t suggest it. OR YOU’D BE A BETTER LIAR.November 10, 2010 at 5:26 pm #225866
“Then you make sure to NEVER EVER EVER tell her that you flirt/kiss/dance/massage/fuck/talk intimately/say her name or anything close…..WITH ANOTHER CHICK!!”
Let me make a revision here. Then you make sure that you Never Ever flirt/kiss/dance/ massage…blah blah blah blah….
Motherfuckers, it’s not hard to keep your shit in your pants and keep your hands to yourself. I don’t give a fuck what anybody says…. Motherfuckers are weak.November 10, 2010 at 5:29 pm #225869
I don’t know Omo…..I danced w/a girl a couple of months ago. Although it was a “forbidden dance”, it didn’t mean much to me. Song ended, she asked me my name (to give to the police) & I left the bar w/my buddy to head home.
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