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The fastest Greyhound was

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The fastest Greyhound was clocked at 39.35 MPH.

The fastest Kangaroo was clocked at 43.45 MPH.

NOTE: Kangaroos have a much lower cruising speed than Greyhounds. It is rare they ever go fast because they are lazy fucks and are only scared of Tasmanian tigers (which are now extinct) and Sarah Palin (who is unfortunately not and has been quoted to say she can also see Australia from her front porch).

An interesting fact I discovered during my research is that kangaroos don’t fart! They are one of the rare mammals that have the ability to turn their farts into even more energy, kinda like a turbo boost in a racing video game!

Scientists have been experimenting with the combining of Kangaroo DNA to Cow DNA. The methane farted by digesting cattle is 23 times more harmful as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide (per molecule). The modified DNA could eliminate methane farts from cows AND drastically reduce the cost of feeding them (fart powered cows need less energy in the form of food, think of a hybrid car). Cattle are argued to contribute up to 12% of greenhouse gasses responsible for the war in Iraq, Afghanistan and the organized overthrow of Gaddafi (who was in the process of nationalizing Libya’s oil, crazy fucker).

This is the future of our hambourgois. I present to you, the Kancow.



Another interesting fact I came across during my research is that Kangaroos have successfully adapted themselves to human industrialization and have been able to generally coexist with us humans peacefully.  

With the global economic crunch felt even in Australia, it has been getting much harder for the Kangaroos to find jobs. Known primarily as laborers, the Kangaroos are largely seen as second class citizens in their own country. Recently MMA has been booming in Oz and gyms have been sprouting everywhere mainly due to the UFC organization hosting live events in Sydney. Kangaroos have been quick to get in on the action and have been lending their boxing skills to anyone willing to learn, ranging from up and coming fighters to MMA veterans. They are proving to be an invaluable help in a sport that is thin on experienced striking coaches. 

Sean Sherk was one of the very first UFC veterans to seek the help from the boxing savvy Kangaroos. His unique short T-Rex like arms made his physical build very similar to that of the two legged mammal and therefore made him a perfect candidate to cross train with them. Below are some pictures of a sparring session between Sherk and Butch, as they work the clinch.