Well, since we are
Well, since we are sharing…
I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 years now, and we have lived together 2 of those. It has been the most stable relationship i have ever been in, where i felt both of us could be open and honest with one another.
For the last 14 months or so, i have been living away from Australia, and working in Antarctica. During this time, we have had some issues, as anyone would with a long distance thing, but we managed.
On the phone last week, she mentioned that she has been feeling especially lonely lately, and when she goes out with the girls, she gets all the attention from guys, and then she feels guilty about it for some reason. She went on to mention how she has missed that form of phsyical intimacy blah blah blah
So i proceeded to say that it’s ridiculous for her to feel guilty, and if she is missing that, she should feel free to go out and kiss as many guys as she likes when she is out with the girls. Go and get that attention she misses. As long as it’s just a physical attraction and it’s left to just that one night, go ahead and kiss him, flirt, dance, just be a cock tease in general and get her fix.
I mean, i’ve still got another 6 months here. I figure, if i dont let her do this, it will just build up to the point of her getting drunk and then end up fucking some random guy, so why not just allow something fun and harmless and avert a big crisis, right?
She asks me, “Are you serious about this? Is this really how you feel?”
I said “Sure. It’s no big deal. During the last summer, i got lots of physical attention from the girls down here.”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.
It was also the wrong thing to suggest for her to do.
I got an earful of complaining/blah blah crying/blah blah anger for the next hour or so before she hung up. As much as it was just things like hugs, dirty dancing, getting close on a couch and watching a movie, the odd massage or occasional nude swim at the beach, she didn’t believe me. Or like my explanations much more than what she thought they meant…
I should mention that on occasions during our relationship, there have been times when we have kissed other people, like i would kiss my mates wife and he would kiss her, or when we have had sex on a couch while on another couch in the same room some friends were having sex. So i had reason to believe telling my girlfriend it’s okay to kiss other guys wouldn’t end in this sort of drama…
But “thats just having a little fun ‘with you’ when we are all drunk. How can you even think of doing stuff like that with others?” was the reply i got.
So guys, please don’t ever tell your girlfriend that its ok for her to kiss other men. It is apparently never a safe thing to say, regardless of how safe you think it is to say it.