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i bet she was bummed as a kid

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i bet she was bummed as a kid growing up with the name “esther”. asian parents in america always give their kids an american name along with an asian name, i guess so they fit in more. unfortunately, they always pick wacky american names that no one has anymore, like “esther” or “george”. they don’t realize that only 97 year old women are still named “esther”, and “george” is a name most commonly given to boys born with severe mental and physical handicaps.

she probably got picked on a lot for being named “esther”. i bet at some point she actually rebelled against her amerasian name, insisting on going by her traditional asian name, which is probably “xiao-xiu” or something like that.

however, she most likely embraces the name “esther” now, because it is ironic and hip. it’s actually kind of sexy. i’ve boned so many “lisa”s and “sarah”s that i’m dying to meet a girl named “esther” or “gertrude”.

i have a brother named “nunzio”, but everyone knows him as “nick”. the few times a teacher spilled the beans and called him “nunzio” during attendance, he was super embarrassed. but we lived in brooklyn so it wasn’t all that bad. lots of kids had uncles named “nunzio” or “allesandro” or some shit.

i actually knew a black kid named “elegance”. i shit you not. this poor guy, he got the shit kicked out of him for being named “elegance” by the other black kids like every day. and surprise!, he turned out to be a fashion designer who now lives in san francisco.

anyway, i think “esther” is kinda a cool name, and it totally works for her, lest anyone think i’m goofing on her. i’m not.