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excerpt from “My Life is

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excerpt from “My Life is Pain, Suffering and Blood: EMT MAN”

“This day has been long and fruitful. Fruit that has been murdered by serious dicks and hooligans. Basking in my shadow under the streetlamp, sulking as I rub my shoulder my life is nothing but pain, suffering and blood. The doc says I only got days to live due to my severe low levels of body cartilage. That was 4 years ago. I’m EMT MAN. This is my story. Which is total chaos, tears, band-aids, and cold coffee. I can’t stop thinking about the mayhem during my lunch break. It was literally the worst, not counting the worst sleep I ever had. You see, I have two pillows. One pillow is too low. Two pillows is too high. I wish someone would just blow my brains out to end my eternal suffering.

It was lunchtime, the time on the clock of sorrow and blood was ticking, countless people needing me to save their lives I can hear their voices. But it’s lunchtime and I was fucking hungry. I slam my worthless dipshit burrito in the microwave that is obviously designed for not burrito’s, the timer is set for 2 minutes. It feels like FOREVER BRO. But alas, 120 seconds slowly pass by and the microwave makes that stupid beeping sound that lasts longer than it normally should. Someone has to talk to those microwave fellas about that. So I take my burrito from the microwave, sitting down in the most uncomfortable chair ever and take a bite. Guess what. IT WAS COLD ON THE INSIDE! How do you recover from that?

Which explains my current, horrible situation I’m in right now. As you can see, my life is nothing but a box of pain, sufferings, and blood.”

Don’t forget to buy you a copy of this great book by none other than rejected jackal PeedaterSUXXORS at your local bookstore! Just look for it in the “This person needs to stop crying section.” And if you can’t find it there, look in the who gives a cunt, no one wants to hear him bitch anyway and STFU aisle!!