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Everyone loves Ken Shamrock

Here are some of the choice words and headlines floating around the nets after Ken Shamrock lost yet another fight in the first round. We’ll kick things off with Jake Rossen, the former king of telling people they suck and need to retire:

To call Shamrock a washout is like counting nostrils: there’s not much of a point.

Aaand that’s why he’s the former king. I think he’s starting to suck, he might need to retire. Fortunately, Jordan Breen summed the situation up perfectly in his post-event recap:

In a lopsided beating that surprised no one, Pedro Rizzo downed 46-year-old MMA pioneer Ken Shamrock to cap Impact FC’s second venture Sunday at the Sydney Entertainment Centre.

Shamrock is no longer even a shell of the man he once was. If you look closely, you can still see a glimmer of the old intensity in his eyes, but that’s about it. His body began to fail him a long time ago, and the skills that once made him a terrifying opponent have been surpassed by more complete mixed martial artists.

Head Kick Legend draws parallels to Mickey Rourke in the Wrestler, sans all that hot naked Marissa Tomei action. Plus:

It should of all been over after the “Petey! My heart!” incident against Kazuyuki Fujita in PRIDE, and that was literally ten years ago. Ten years ago all of us watching felt like it was time for Ken to stop. Ten years ago. I’d feel ashamed if I supported any of this nonsene.

MMAWeekly generously reports Ken Shamrock’s record as “1-4 in his last five attempts.” 2-8 over his last 10 would also be a correct answer. And you know Bloody Elbow isn’t going to be nice when their headline is “The Sad Spectacle of Ken Shamrock: An Aged Legend Dances for Nickels Down Under”:

Shamrock, who is a very proud man, tried to get out of the bout gracefully. In a moment of quiet desperation he dropped to a knee, practically begging referee “Big” John McCarthy to stop the fight. Rizzo looked to the referee as well. McCarthy, perhaps remembering Ken’s vehement complaints about Herb Dean’s “early” stoppage of the second Ortiz fight, forced Rizzo to inflict more punishment. It was a sad and pathetic moment, not just for Ken Shamrock, but for fans of mixed martial arts.

Take it away, CagePotato Cat!

All in all, the new creepy Christian Ken Shamrock seemed a lot less fun than the chair-kicking, steroid rage-y Ken Shamrock of old. He took the loss with a half-crazy smile and a laugh … then made a number of extremely dubious claims during his postfight interview, among them: “I never quit” (Ed. Note: So, what just happened in that fight?), “I always fight top competition” (Ed. Note: Ross Clifton?) and (we’re paraphrasing here) “If the fans keep showing up to watch, I’m going to keep getting in here and fighting.” (Ed. Note: Oh, Jesus Christ.)

(picture above, “La Clowne Triste”, via All Elbows)