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Eddie Bravo knows something you don’t..apparently

I love a good conspiracy theory. They make kick ass movies because if they were real, it would mean that gigantic shadowy organizations are secretly trying to control our lives (which just sounds like a good plot if you ask me). In essence, what I love the most about conspiracy theories is that it makes the people behind them seem like the fucking smartest people in the world.

Eddie Bravo is convinced they are real. He believes that the world is actually controlled by the “Illuminati”, a secret organization inside the Masons which apparently controls the world. He believes that it doesn’t matter who you vote for: these men are, in the end, just puppets. Here’s his cheery quote from Sherdog:

I am not voting. Voting is an illusion. Both “candidates” are working for the same team — the Illuminati. The election is just a fake reality show. You can’t get as far as Obama and McCain and not be bought and sold long ago. The machine is too strong. Just buckle up and hold on for the scary ride that’s coming and try to get as much as possible before the derailing of our empire.

I can see now why Joe Rogan and Eddie Bravo get along so fucking well. The both love BJJ, and they are both conspiracy mongers that have smoked WAY too much pot.

Here’s the best way to decide whether or not a specific conspiracy theory is plausible: If the perpetrators of the scheme require complete secrecy, even though their actions and behavior is observable from the outside world, the only way for this to be possible is if each opperator is flawless in his/her execution. In other words, nobody can fuck up…ever.

If that sounds fucking impossible, well, then I got news for you: it’s a fucking fairy tale. A conspiracy to control the world requires too many people who could mess up and accidentally reveal the identity of those involved, or the scheme itself. It would be reassuring to believe that there is still individuals with enough talent and resource to do something this impressive. If they could, I say give these people the fucking world: the rest of us are just too stupid and incompetent to run our own shit.   Alas, we all suck, and no one, no matter how rich and powerful, is immune from being occasionally retarded.

My advice to Eddie is to keep showing people hot to jits, and keep your desperate and paranoid political theories to yourself.