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Some of you enjoy when I make posts while intoxicated. Many of you detest it to such a degree that it actually causes you anxiety. Still others continue touching yourselves to bukkake videos without batting an eye as to what I am writing. In any case, I am about to throw some knowledge down on the whole “breaking news” that has hit the MMA world today.

The fact of the matter is that both Vitor Belfort and Tito Ortiz are back with the UFC and Fedor Emelianenko is still eating Russian flavored ice cream. Vitor and Tito are literally two of the biggest stars in the history of our sport yet both of their re-signings have been overshadowed by Fedor’s failure to enter the premier MMA organization on the planet. Make no mistake about it (unless you have a mental disease) — Fedor needs the UFC much more than the UFC needs Fedor. For those of you that still don’t grasp it, Fedor is simply a single fighter. The UFC is a global brand that has taken years, millions of dollars, and loads of hard work to create. The argument that blames Fedor’s management but not the man himself is ludicrous. When it comes down to it, Fedor controls his own destiny and he chooses not to be in the UFC. Jerry Millen, Vadim Finkelchtein, and whoever else represents M-1 can all lick my hairy red nutsack. With all honesty, I hope the both of you get struck by a train and are immediately removed from life. You each have the reasoning skills of a mule, therefore you should not pro-create. Go fuck yourselves.

Anyway, the point of this writing is not to bash the Fedor situation, although I fully realize that is what I have just done. The point of this is to point out awesome shit — mainly the fact that both Vitor and Tito are both returning to the UFC. If Vitor beats Franklin, he will no doubt set himself up for a fight with the winner of the Marquardt v. Maia match-up that takes place in August — if not an immediate title shot. Either way, it will be awesome. If Vitor loses, he’ll likely find himself in a re-match with Wanderlei or Chuck. That will also be awesome. As for Tito, his return could lead to a multitude of different super fights. Assuming he destroys Mark Coleman in his first fight back, it’s very likely that his next fight after would be against either Machida, Griffin, or Evans — three of the top 205 pounders in the world that he has had extremely close fights with. Tito might suck as a person but he brings that shit as a fighter.

Point of all this is that Vitor and Tito are two highly talented fighters who could potentially play major roles in their respective divisions for the next year or so. Each man is more than financially secure yet willing to go out there and fight the best to further prove himself. Fedor, on the other hand, will continue making bad business decisions. Vitor and Tito are doing what it takes to get into the cage with top competition to prove themselves as the best. Fedor isn’t. The Last Emperor better pray that Brock Lesnar loses his next fight, because if he doesnt’t there are going to be many individuals claiming that the former WWE superstar is the top heavyweight in the sport.