With New Years Eve under a week away, FEG has finally put together the rest of it’s Dynamite!! card and the freakshow quotient has increased a few hundred percent. The Reverend has already listed out the line-up, but what the fuck do you know about half the guys in the list??? Here’s a breakdown of the latest fights added, and why they’re so freaky:
Katsuaki Furuki vs. Andy Ologun
My knowledge of Japanese major league baseball is limited to what I learned from watching Tom Selleck in Mr Baseball, so I have no idea how big of a deal it is for former 1st round draft pick Katsuaki Furuki to be competing at Dynamite!! This will be his first real fight after an exhibition match against punching bag Akira Shoji in DEEP. Across the ring from him will be Andy Ologun, best known for being the little brother of ” target=”_blank”>300 pound Korean fatty back in October.
Kyotaro Fujimoto vs. Gegard Mousasi
Last year’s ‘Battle of the Similar Sounding Names’ between K-1 fighter Musashi and Gegard Mousasi resulted in Gegard beating the stuffing out of his over the hill opponent. This year, Gegard will have another K-1 rules fight against a younger and more dangerous opponent in K-1 heavyweight champ Kyotaro.
Bob Sapp vs. Shinichi Suzukawa
This is a ‘special attraction’ cooked up by ‘executive producer’ and Japanese pro wrestling godfather Antonio Inoki. I’m using a lot of ‘quotes’ because this ‘fight’ sounds like it’s really more of a pro wrestling bout than anything else. It is interesting to note however that Suzukawa – another disgraced pot smoking sumo wrestler turned pro wrestler – tried to turn a wrasslin’ bout with Mark Coleman into a real fight last week. Will he suddenly decide to start punching Bob Sapp in the face for real? It should be pretty easy to tell: if Bob goes down in a quivering mess of tears within the first minute, it was a real fight.
Sergei Kharitonov vs. Tatsuya Mizuno
Now we’re getting into some interesting meat and potatos. Tatsuya Mizuno is one of Japan’s only fighters that’s kinda sorta a heavyweight. Because of that, he keeps getting pushed as a future star in the division even though he sucks. This has resulted in several drubbings at the hands of guys like Mirko Crocop and Gegard Mousasi. On New Years Eve it will almost undoubtedly result in him lying unconscious at the feet of Bad Motherfucker Sergei Kharitonov.
Satoshi Ishii vs. Jerome Le Banner
FEG needed to find a fighter to face judo gold medalist and failed savior of the Japanese MMA scene Satoshi Ishii who was both famous and beatable. Not too easy considering how bad Ishii is at MMA, but fortunately there’s kickboxer Jerome LeBanner, who has recently grown so disillusioned with the sport that he walked out of the ring during a fight with Kyotaro back in October, costing him a spot in the K-1 World Grand Prix. Further stacking the deck against LeBanner is the fact that this fight will be fought under MMA rules.
Alistair Overeem vs Todd Duffee
With Japan, you never know for sure if a fight is gonna happen until both fighters step into the ring. In theory, Overeem and Duffee have both agreed to this but there’s rumors that FEG is still trying to find a fight for Overeem that Japanese fans will give a shit about. At the moment, the only hook here is K-1 WGP champ vs Giant White Dude. That’s not bad, but the Giant White Dude FEG really wanted was Semmy Schilt.