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Dana White’s imaginary war

I wanna do a quick walkthrough of how the UFC / EA spat has gone thus far. Dana allows EA to advertise their boxing game out the ass at the TUF 9 finale. Then Dana gets Joe Silva to spread word to all managers that anyone participating in the EA MMA video game will be banned. Well, Lorenzo says there’s no ‘banning’ per say, but you can ask Josh Barnett and Frank Shamrock how the UFC’s informal shitlist works.

Word then leaked about what Joe Silva said and the whole thing was confirmed on the Underground by Ken Pavia, who’s either ballsy or stupid for being the only MMA agent to discuss it. I personally pick ballsy AND stupid. But this kinda works out for Dana and Lorenzo because they know they’re gonna get asked about it at UFC 100. So they take the time to draft up a nice argument as to why they’d be such raging cocksuckers about the whole thing. And ladies and gentlemen, here it is:

“EA Sports told us, ‘You’re not a real sport,'” White said. “‘We wouldn’t touch this thing. We want nothing to do with this.'”

“We put our asses on the line, THQ and the UFC, to make a video-game deal in the worst economy in the world,” White said. “We go out there and do this thing, and it’s successful, and now [expletive] EA Sports wants to do a video game. Really? That’s not what you told us a year-and-a-half ago.

“You told us you’d never be in business with us. They wouldn’t even take a meeting because mixed martial arts disgusted them. This wasn’t a real sport. Boy, they got over that real quick, didn’t they?”

White views EA Sports’ tactics with obvious disapproval, and he’s made it clear that any fighter who signs over their likeness to the new project will be blacklisted from the UFC.

“I’m not tap-dancing around this thing or whatever,” White said. “I’m telling you straight-up, I’m at war with them right now. That’s how I look at it.”

Pretty good argument if you ask me. Dana White rages against the company that spit in OUR faces and told US that OUR sport is trash. But now that the UFC video game did so well, EA has come along and wants to cash in! THOSE FUCKERS! It’s goddamn rousing. But it rings less true when you know like Dana obviously knows that EA has been working on this game for over a year and a half now, not just since the UFC game was released last month. They’ve already got their game to the point that it’s playable. I know EA rushes it’s games out the door, but only starting the game after the UFC’s game sold well would be E.T. on the Atari levels of rush.

So lemme ask you: if EA has been working on an MMA video game for years, do you think they spat in Dana White’s face and told him to stick his loser bloodsport bullshit up his ass where it belongs? Or do you think it might be more likely that they simply lost the bid for the UFC franchise to THQ? And do you really think Dana White was “at war” with EA a few weeks ago when their ads were plastered all over the octagon and a 5 minute preview was played during the TUF 9 broadcast?

That’s what’s so fucked up about all this: Dana’s whole article is 100% FUCKING SPIN. And it’s pretty epic spin at that. Typically you don’t see this level outside of politics, which is what I find so creepy about the whole thing. Dana White is basically trying to create an emotional justifications for the dickish things the UFC is doing. And his giant posse of fans are lapping it up and repeating it, not even questioning why in this ‘war’ with Electronic Arts, the only ones taking any damage are fucking fighters.

Now some of you are still gonna side on the UFC with this one and say it’s their right … nay, solemn duty … to drive their enemies before them and hear the lamentations of their women. To you I ask if you’ve lost sight of what you’re cheering for: the success of the sport and the ability for it’s participants to make a fair wage or just the success of the UFC regardless of how petty and vindictive they become? I admit that things will probably be pretty epic once Dana White has cut the head off the final rival promotion and he becomes Highlander, but is it too much to ask that the path to this future not be riddled with the careers of everyone (real or imagined) that got in his way?