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Dana White Burns 6’8″ Bridge Made of Ogre

Tucked away in a post from Kevin Iole was this verbal donkeypunch from UFC president Dana White regarding the 36-second drubbing Fedor Emelianenko laid on his former heavyweight champ:

But we all have to thank him for getting rid of Tim Sylvia. He’d been stinking out the joint the last couple of years and Fedor did everyone a favor by beating him so easily and getting rid of him.

Originally, the post was lauding Fedor’s humility, claiming he does not consider himself the best fighter in the world. In between sips of chocomilk and adjusting the straps of his OshKosh B’Gosh overalls, the cherubic Russian insists he makes mistakes and has weaknesses that need some shoring up. Realistically though, we won’t see those holes patched up until Cyberdyne begins production on the T-900 series.

Never one to pass up a chance at unnecessary dickliness (usually a 10-yard penalty), White made sure to throw in a kick in the pants aimed squarely at MFS’s whipping boy. Natch, this is not the first jab he has taken at the much-maligned 6’8″ Sylvia. All the talk of an amiable release, allowing the reformed fat kid to sow his wild, cliche-tattooed oats in spare promotions around the world before returning to the big leagues was typical doublespeak from the Ministry of Human Cockfighting. A week ago on Tagg Radio (courtesy of BE):

“Look, we cut Tim Sylvia, he couldnt cut it in the UFC anymore…Tim has been boring people for years.”

Seeing as White’s using almost the exact same phrasing he used to describe Tito Ortiz, the Destro to Dana’s Duke, it’s not likely that Sylvia will be getting into an official Octagon any time soon. Granted, White was non-committal at the outset of the weird breakup to begin with, so these may have been his sentiment all along. That said, it takes a tremendous amount of a-holiness to overshadow the time/space fabric-tearing occurence of White and Fedor agreeing on something. Thanks for taking the time, Dana!