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Daily Wrapup January 30th 2008

(above: the Pancrase girls. The one on the left is a bit rough but the skirts and touching makes up for it. I would wreck the one on the right. She would need to use a wheelchair for the remainder of her existence.)

Hey, we’re back with our daily updates. Did you miss this shit? Yeah, I bet you just miss the pictures of the girls.

UFC83 UK canceled
That event that the UFC never announced which wasn’t ever really happening? Well, it’s been canceled. Well, actually it hasn’t been canceled because it was never happening. It was all a figment of our imaginations. Now I might just be railing on the UFC because I hold them to a higher standard than other people do, but … uh. What’s with that logistical hiccup that caused this whole commotion in the first place?

K1 2008 Schedule revealed
Yeah last year’s Grand Prix finals were pretty shitty, but I got big hopes for K1 in 2008. Mainly because I now have the time to follow and cover the sport. Plus I’m still in awe of Andy Hug and he has filled me with the meaty spirit of K1 awesomeness.

Ice Cube does something regarding MMA
I don’t even know what the fuck is going on here. It’s like someone scratched out a bunch of words in a real MMA-related article and then gave it to some teenagers as one of those Ad-Lib games. Add in “Ice Cube”, “Internet” and “Bomb Diggedy”. You’ve got yourself a story!

James Irving gets a delay of execution
That fight that was gonna happen on that event that was never happening was moved (well, how can it be moved if the event never existed???) to UFC Fight Night 13 at the beginning of April. That’s the Irving vs a very pissed off Houston Alexander fight. Let’s just say I don’t expect Irving to win.

France surrenders to MMA
Hehe, I got nothing else except that title. Props to France for not being fascist. Well, MMA is no longer banned, anyways. You still can’t wear crosses, burqas, face scarves or skull caps. But you can now beat the shit out of eachother in a cage. I’m glad they’ve got their priorities straight!

Frank Mir with his family
Watching this video almost makes me feel bad that Frank is gonna get stomped by Brock Lesnar. My favorite part is when Mir’s wife can’t remember why she didn’t break up with him over his violent lifestyle. Also near the end when Mir looks like he’s ready to go and beat his kids for not shutting up.

Josh Barnett fights again (for pro wrestling)
The UFC can out-wait Fedor. M1 will collapse soon enough and the UFC will be able to pick up Fedor and have him in the UFC eventually. But not Josh Barnett, because Josh is perfectly fine wheedling away the best years of his career fighting retarded catch wrestling bouts and fake pro wrestling fights. I don’t know whether to give props or to cry.

The gambling community believes in Dustin Hazelett
The betting line for Koscheck / Hazelett is -500 / +350. I’ve never seen a bookie give anyone such horrible odds. The only way to make this more embarrassing for Hazelett is if they also posted naked pictures of him with a tiny cock next to these odds. And then a picture of like 3 girthy german dudes fucking his wife. Because with odds like that, you’re no longer even a man, really.

Alan Belcher out at UFC81
This makes me cry. I’ve been an Alan Belcher fan since I found out we share a common love for Hannah Montana.

8 COMMENTS
  • Accomando says:

    Pancrase girl on the right is way hotter than the shit-szu holding onto her.

    “…You still can’t wear crosses, burqas, face scarves or skull caps….”

    I’m sure there are many women in that country that appreciate the burqa law. Doesn’t allow their turd-world parents to tell them how to dress in Western Civilization.

  • Stellar53 says:

    James IRVIN imo…..Houston A is going to go down…

  • hankd says:

    Hazelett with sub Koscheck

  • nem0 says:

    I should change my name to Hannah. Except I like my name, and my dad has a swingin’ moustache instead of a mullet, so it’d never work.

  • Dangerfield says:

    What about the crazy abundance of pubic hair?

  • Captain says:

    If by “wreck” you mean getting your pants halfway down, seeing her naked ass, and apologizing and saying that’s never happened to me before while cleaning up in the bathroom, then yeah, I buy it.

  • GonzoDamon says:

    Come on Linker, I know you watch the dark matches! Hazelett is ridiculously crafty with the BJJ!! Unfortunately, he is currently with his royal doucheness, Jorge Gurgel. I remember Gurgel AND Franklin saying that Hazelett taps them at times…

    If Koscheck takes him down, the fight is Hazelett’s! If Koscheck is smart, he will use his wrestling to stop the takedowns and keep the fight on their feet, where he will surely knock the snot out of Hazelett. Hazelett’s stand-up has improved a lot, but he is still a wiry dude with weak-looking punches. (Despite rocking his last opponent..)

    WAIT, I take it back! This fight is going to be VERY DIFFICULT for Hazelett! I need to pull my bet out….

  • KillerBottsMan says:

    “The only way to make this more embarrassing for Hazelett is if they also posted naked pictures of him with a tiny cock next to these odds. And then a picture of like 3 girthy german dudes fucking his wife. Because with odds like that, you’re no longer even a man, really.”

    This is the funniest shit I’ve read on the internet probably ever and why I love this website. Well done sir.

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