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Crisis averted: Dana’s CNBC announcement = dolls

It turns out that the big announcement for today is not the big announcement on Thursday. Today’s announcement is regarding a line of action figures:

The new UFC product line from JAKKS(TM) will be collector-focused, and the license covers UFC legend Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell, Brock Lesnar, Antonio “Minotauro” Nogueira, Michael “The Count” Bisping and UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson “The Spider” Silva, among others. The license also includes the famed UFC Octagon(TM), and role-play items based on the UFC brand and its classic and current roster of star fighters.

This kind of announcement wouldn’t even merit a post on an average day, but I know I spazzed out about the whole announcement thing so it’s kinda important I clear up what’s going on. I don’t feel too bad though – MMA Junkie freaked as well, meaning I’m not the only bloggo-dope. My reasoning was that the media seems to be chipping away at the details of Thursday’s big announcement, so it wouldn’t have surprised me if Dana decided he needed to jump the gun in order to reveal the details himself.

But as it’s just stupid fucking dolls, we can all go about our business and wait until Thursday – while still praying to various deities that the WWE hasn’t bought into the company. I don’t want to sound like I’m putting that idea up as the most likely scenario … it’s just something I dread so much, I can’t stop talking about it. I’d rather lose a testicle to a pitbull than have that happen.

**UPDATE** It’s not just dolls, but other useless shit as well! Plus you can buy UFC clothes at JC Penney stores, which is FUCKING CRAZY! I could have sworn they went out of business years ago!

It’s a day many hoped for, and after a flurry of activity that has taken the industry by storm, fans of the Ultimate Fighting Championship will soon be able to collect Jakks Pacific UFC figures, use UFC-branded Bic lighters and Silver Buffalo watches, shop with a UFC credit card, and pick up UFC apparel at JC Penney stores. This unprecedented series of announcements truly stamps the UFC as the premier brand in the sport of mixed martial arts as well as the home of the elite fighters in the game.

**UPDATE 2** Dana went through a buttload of denials on the show, including the rumor of a WWE buyout or partnership. Huzzah!

Debunked rumors included the possibility of boxer Floyd Mayweather joining the organization; World Wrestling Entertainment partnering with the UFC in any capacity (including ownership and merchandising); the UFC appearing on FOX, ABC or another network; and the UFC possibly going public. White said none of them were true.

  • TIGERTAO says:

    Ooooooh, I wonder how anal they’ll be if the lines aimed at collectors?

    Bruce Buffer Doll anyone or perhaps you’d fancy a Stitches Figure?
    Too late for big John though huh….

  • Knuckles says:

    I find it strange that GSP (their biggest marketable fighter imo) wasn’t included. Could GSP be on his way to Affliction!? muhaha!

  • Bling Crosby says:

    Oh shit, role-play items?! I hope Nog comes with the truck that gave him his powers and Silva comes with Franklin’s nose.

  • TIGERTAO says:

    Josh Barnett will not be happy, you know he’d cream his pants if he was featured in a role-play…
    He’s probably more upset with that than not getting another shot in the UFC.

  • cyph says:

    Yes, I can finally get my MMA clothings during the semi-annual sale instead of paying up the nose for Affliction. All cheap bastards unite!

  • Kel says:

    Regarding JC Penny going out of business: In MA, a whole bunch of JC Penny’s converted to outlet stores…I think that there are only a few “real” stores left. I am not sure how this is in other states.
    Can I purchase a UFC lighter to use with my Tapout bong?

  • Joon4s says:

    I hope they make a David Heath action figure that bleeds like a pig when you squeeze him. One blood cartridge included, refill’s sold separately.

    And a Sherk figure with pills and needles. When you squeeze him he says “I shouldn’t be punished because it was in my supplements”.