twitter google

Chuck vs Wand signed, despite God’s best efforts

So it’s finally really 100% for sure confirmed and official: Chuck Liddell and Wanderlei Silva are gonna get it on in da octagon at UFC 79. Dana White made the announcement during a taped bit for the Scream awards. I got an email from the UFC around 1am last night telling me about the 10pm announcement … kudos to Zuffa marketing! Kudos.

Anyways, as soon as I got the email I knew what Dana was gonna say:

  1. As per the terms of their contract, he was having Randy Couture’s brain replaced with the brain of a less rebellious rhesus monkey.
  2. Him and Brock Lesnar were running off to Massachusetts to get married
  3. Wanderlei Silva and Keith Jardine were going to square off in the fight everyone has wanted to see for the last 5 years.

So of course imagine my dissapointment when it wasn’t the worthy Keith who got the nod to fight Wanderlei Silva. Ah well … I guess I’ll take Chuck Liddell. But I mean, jeez … it’s not really all that compelling on paper, is it? These two guys are both fucking losers! Who wants to see losers fight? Not me. I like winners. These guys WERE winners. But now they’re obviously losers. A big sloppy loser-fest, this is. Boo losers.

But don’t worry too much, people. God has obviously shown he does not want this fight to happen. Every time it’s announced or agreed upon, He brings his wrath down on the earth … this time in the form of burning Malibu to a fucking crisp. If this match actually goes down, it’ll be in an octagon buzzing with locusts and Goldberg will be covered (moreso) in boils.

  • jd says:

    Dana makes himself look dumb time and time again.

    “If Chuck gets by Keith Jardine then he is set to face Wanderlei Silva”

    Well, that didn’t happen.

    In MMA fights are never a sure thing, and Dana should know that. If he wanted the fight to happen regardless, he shouldnt have said the above comment.

  • steve24 says:

    I’m sure Chuck or Wandy will suffer an injury during training.
    You should do a write up on the ridiculous price of tickets to this event making it next to impossible for “regular” people to attend. $300 to sit in the top section is a little absurd.

  • godzillad says:

    I happily paid my $200 for a seat in the 200s section, this fight is un-missable. Well, that and December 29th is my birthday. 18th birthday.

  • steve24 says:

    #3. You should have just waited until the next event. $200 seats could have Paris Hilton sitting on your lap cage side.

  • Goddamn … this fight has been brewing since you were 13 years old!

  • MJC_123 says:

    So what difference does this make to the light heavyweight division?
    If Chuck loses, he retires I reckon…If Wanderlei loses, I reckon he is calling for rematch straight away.
    As for the winner well who do they face?….The winner of Bisping v Evans? (Im not buying they are really gonna hand a title shot too the winner of that match)….Or Tito, Shogun maybe even Jardine again?…..Christ I can imagine it now Chuck winning and then UFC 84 Road to Redemption….Chuck v Jardine with winner fighting Forrest Griffin after he beats Jackson….. :)

  • Zurich says:

    God can still strike down his wrath on either Chuck or Wand’s ACL in training…

  • kentyman says:

    #1: Remember, Dana also said that they’d fight “if Chuck gets past Babalu”.

  • MacDaddy says:

    This fight’s been on the horizon since Chuck decisioned chute boxer Pele Landis-Johns (with Wanderlei Silva in his corner) in 30 bare-fucking-knuckled, headbutting minutes in 1998. One of the most brutal fights I’ve ever seen an American take part in.

  • MacDaddy … what event was that? I gotta check that shit out

  • bubbafat says:

    that was junglefight in Brazil

  • operator says:

    After years of hype I bet the fight lasts like 1:30 before one of them gets knocked out.

  • Haha if it ends like Tito/Shamrock 2, I’ll poop my pants laughing