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Can Dave Meltzer make Yahoo suck less?

Pro Wrestling is uber-lame nowadays. Sure we all watched it when we were stupid kids, and it was even somewhat okay to pay attention back during that whole Degeneration X era a few years back. But now it’s just embarrassing, and self-respecting adults should leave that habit behind with other childish habits like masturbating in socks (pity your mom for having to do your cum stained laundry) and doing whippits behind the gas station on Sunday afternoons.

That being said, I have no idea why talented guys like Dave Meltzer and Zach Arnold continue to cover that abortion of a ‘sport’. The day mixed martial arts slides into the same state pro wrestling is in is the day I hop onto the next hot bandwagon sport and blog about that instead. And while I don’t look forward to writing about competitive eating 4 to 7 times a day, it’s a small price to pay to be able to look at myself in the little mirror every morning while doing lines of meth and blow.

Fuck, this is a rambling post, isn’t it? The point of this whole rant is that Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer is jumping ship from Fox Sports and has joined Team Cock Suck over at Yahoo Sports. I’ve never had a problem with Dave’s writing mainly because most of it is tucked away in a for-pay pro wrestling newsletter I don’t read, and I hear he tends to be factually correct most of the time. If he has a bias one way or another, it doesn’t come through when half the MMA websites out there rip off his shit and repost it on their site. So here’s hoping this is a step up for Yahoo and maybe they’ll boot Kevin Iole back to boxing where he belongs and let Meltzer run the MMA show.

  • kentyman says:

    “The day rounds start being given to fighters based on their ‘hit percentage’ and ‘number of punches landed’ is the day I’m gonna fuck off and rededicate this blog to a real sport like competitive eating or something.” –

    Sounds like something you’ve been giving a lot of thought.

  • Jemaleddin says:

    Wait, are you telling me that people are paid to report on professional wrestling? And they don’t work for WWE? Actual (quasi-)news agencies write articles about professional wrestling? Really?

    I mean, I’m not surprised when I see “Soap Opera Weekly” reporting on who will or won’t be killed on General Hospital, but if I saw that in Newsweek I’d be pretty pissed.

  • garth says:

    Pro wrestling is lame nowadays?? The only days I remember it being not lame are the days when I was 8.

  • ted dibiase says:

    what the hell is there to write about in wrestling? speculative guesses on who is vince mcmahons bastard child?

    the yahoo mma section is retarded as shit. kevin iole is gay but i FUCKING HATE dave doyle with a passion. that fucker is brain dead retarded and he looks like a cancer victim.

    “hey, i shaved my head. im a mma expert”

  • Hmmm. I did become an MMA expert after I shaved my head :-p

  • Jemaleddin says:

    I heard from Kevin Iole that you become an MMA expert after you shave off your balls.

  • No no, Kevin said once you have your balls removed. I believe the quote was “It’s like getting off a wild bull … plus you become an instant MMA genius”

  • ted dibiase says:

    put kevin iole’s and dave doyle heads next to each other and you gotta picture of dana whites nut sack

  • Royal B. says:

    Jem: Yes. There are actual SERIOUS wrestling magazines out there. At one time, The Ring covered Pro-Wrestling.

    Ted: Partially. by “speculate” they mean “seeing who will give the company the most buys with this retarded angle”. They also look at how much money is made and lost and how that will affect the product, what’s hot in the independant scene and who to look for. Also keep in mine, it’s not always about N.American pro wrestling as they look at Mexico, Japan and Europe. Also history pieces, bios, etc.

    It’s totally not like the Apter Mags you see in the supermarket.

    I bet you guys didn’t know the first legit MMA organization was started by a pro-wrestler. Or that Randy Couture, Matt Hughes, Bas Rutten, Sakuraba and Fedor got their start in Catch Leagues over in Japan.