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Breaking down the IFL belts

I remember reading an article in a magazine a few months back about the guy who does a whole bunch of belts for MMA leagues across America. A big part of the piece was devoted to the abominations he was asked to make for the IFL. I don’t think I’ve seen an uglier belt since John Cena put a spinner on the WWE belt (and don’t think I’m going to start talking more about the WWE, I’m just pointing out that the IFL is on par with stupid shit being done in pro wrestling). Let’s break down everything that’s wrong with these belts:

1. SNAKESKIN: Holy shit, did Kurt Otto step out of one of those Diet Pepsi commercials with the idea to use snakeskin instead of a traditional leather strap? That shit hasn’t been cool since hair metal bands roamed the earth.

2. Gemstones: I dunno if those are rubies or sapphires … I’m not an expert on gems because I like putting my penis in women and not manbutts. Regardless, only queens, wizards, and pussies wear gems – and that statement goes to the UFC as well.

3. The dinner plate in the middle: Not only is it retardedly huge, but it’s also cheap and tacky looking. The mix of gold, silver, and red colors just make it look like it’s a flat chunk of plastic that’s been painted. I’m also curious to know if they’re gonna scrap these belts because they’ve got the old logo on them. I still don’t really know why they changed the logo in the first place … it’s not like it was the logo’s fault the IFL lost millions of dollars last quarter.

All in all, I declare the IFL belts to be an epic fail.