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Big Nog vs Stupid Tim at UFC 81?

You can officially count December 2nd as the day the Nog vs Sylvia rumor wagon shifted into high gear, with MMA News reporting that some random Brazilian MMA site is reporting that someone else has reported that Tim Sylvia vs Big Nog has been signed. By the way, I’m never going to try and write Big Nog’s full name out again as it is stupid, smelly, and way to similar to his brother’s name. Someone’s mother needs to be slapped.

Anyways, this has implications way past just a fight being signed. Nog vs Sylvia for the heavyweight belt means that Randy Couture is 100% gone, do not pass go and do not collect whatever amount of money Kevin Iole says you’re making. Unless of course this fight isn’t a title fight, in which case I guess this is all a bunch of fuss for nothing, and we shouldn’t read into it at all.

Seriously, there’s just way too many mysteries going on at once. What’s up with Randy? What’s up with Quinton? What’s up with TUF7? What’s up with the lightweight belt? Back in my fair weather fan days, I’d just stop watching MMA for a year and come back refreshed and ready for another year of exciting ‘intrigue’. Right now I’m just feeling like a jaded asshole. So in lieu of a break, how about I just hoop some ecstasy before writing posts from now on? Okay? Okay!

  • jd says:

    Hoop some ecstasy? That would make for an interesting post.

  • marshal says:

    Slap Little Nogs Madre!

  • Don says:

    The person whose mother needs to be slapped is yours. I come to this site for sensitive, serious praise-singing of all fighters and their names, nicknames, and pseudonyms. And for two boys, one cup. Instead I get ethnocentric hate because you can’t get over the time you confused Rodrigo with Rogerio. Don’t you realize if you were born in Brazil with a twin brother his name would be Fightlinkar Silva? Have some sympathy for what those Brazilians have to go through, with most of them being so mentally retarded that they don’t know English, and all of them being smelly and ugly.

  • hehe smelly. And you can slap my mom, but you’d have to dig her out of her grave you INSENSITIVE BASTARD

  • Jeremy (not that Jeremy) says:

    I want to see Tim fight Gonzaga.

    I said it.

  • I think that’d be a good fight. You know Gonzaga’s pissed about his performance vs randy and he’d come in aggro like against crocop. Considering Big Nog’s performance against herring i’m really worried him vs Tim will be another snoozefest

  • Don says:

    I respectfully decline your invitation to dig you mother out of her grave, both because it sounds like too much work and because I don’t want to risk her being exposed to 2 boys 1 cup.

    As for calling me an insensitive bastard, if it’s true, I lack the sensitivity to be hurt by your insult. If it’s not true, you hurt my feelings, making YOU the insensitive bastard. mwahaha you lose either way!

  • Jersey Tomato says:

    What’s with Timmy in that photo? Looks like the big Doofus is trying to crank out a fart or something. He probably just downed a few greasy burgers from that Wendy’s restaurant and the meal is not cooperating with his digestive tract. He might want to out on a shirt next time he sets foot inside such a classy eatery. He acts like he was born in the back woods of Maine, where no one has any manners. Frank Mir needs to snap another one of his limbs.

  • kentyman says:

    Worst. Wendy’s commercial. Ever.

  • Asa says:

    Hmmm … He must be in serious training, his haircut looks stupider than normal there.

  • marshal says:

    Too much Xyience Timmy?!?

  • ajadoniz says:

    What if Randy is moving back down to LHW to fight Quinton and he’ll be coaching alongside of him? yea i know, i made it up.

  • MacDaddy says:

    Looks like Tim just realized he sharted. Perhaps for the UFC 81 card they could sign Rogerio as well and Tim could provide “2 Nogueiras, 1 cup”.