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Belts for sale!

Tucked down at the bottom of the UFC’s Machida vs Shogun mail-out was an advertisement for ‘replica championship belts.’ Since I’m always looking for new ways to trick dumb bimbos into sleeping with me, I figured one of these might help. But while they might hold up to a few seconds worth of inspection by a heavily inebriated chick, a more astute eye will notice several differences – such as the strap, which looks like it was made out of hooker boot pleather.

But what, did anyone really think they were gonna get a true ‘replica’ of a UFC belt for 300 bucks? It’s a huge step up from the things they sell with the octagon toy set (which still work on chicks from New Jersey) but several hundred steps below the real deal. For what it is, it’s still pretty cool though. Maybe not as cool once meathead idiots start showing up at UFC events with them slung over their shoulder, but it’s best to just ignore everything they do anyways.

Still, don’t give up on your dream to own a real honest to goodness UFC belt, even if you suck donkey dick at the fisticuffs. Ricco Rodriguez already tried to pawn his belt off on ebay a while ago, and it’s only a matter of time before another washed up former champion needs more money to ‘open a school’ or ‘support his family’ or ‘buy more drugs.’