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A tale of two cuts


Maybe Dana White wasn’t being as big of a irresponsible promoter as we thought when he called the Swedish MMA Federation’s decision to pull Alexander Gustafsson from Saturday’s card the “worst decision I have EVER seen to pull fight.” He even used caps, so you know he’s serious! But in what kind of crazy world do fights happen when one fighter just got cut wide open? Well … this one.

Behold Vitor Belfort’s Grade A forehead vagina. He received that sucker 10 days before his fight with Michael Bisping, and we only learned about it two weeks afterwards. And in MMA Math, 20 stitches 10 days before > 3 stitches 7 days before. Lessons to be learned: there are many interesting things going on behind the scenes at Camp Belfort that you will never know about unless they want you to, and maybe cuts leading up to a fight aren’t as big of a deal as they were in the past.

Common sense would dictate there’s no way a man can step into a cage days after suffering a gash that bad above his eye and keep his head from ripping open the second it brushes up against anything. Yet Belfort’s deftly repaired cut managed to hold up to six and a half minutes in the cage with Michael Bisping just fine, to the point where no one even knew a cut existed until Vitor let the cat out of the bag weeks later.

That time it all worked out in Vitor’s (and the UFC’s) favor. He head kicked the shit out of Michael Bisping, his hand was raised in triumphant victory, and a good time was had by all. Meanwhile in an alternate universe, Michael Bisping got on top of Vitor and landed several powerful shots (I did say alternative universe) to his forehead, literally ripping Belfort’s eye to shreds. The entire nation of Brazil recoiled in horror, it was Kevin Ware times a million, and thus ended the mainstream acceptance of MMA in South America.

So I guess I’ll end this all with a little nugget of wisdom my mother taught me: just because someone else did it without getting horribly maimed doesn’t mean it’s safe.

  • CAP says:

    Yep steroids help you heal!

  • Denton says:

    Shit like this has to give you major brownie points with DW & co.

    I wonder how often this can be attributed to fighters opening up seemingly out of nowhere during their fight.