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Cut Throat Business Tactics 201

Hello class, and welcome to another edition of Cut Throat Business Tactics. Last time you’ll remember we covered how to force your fighters into re-signing with your organization, or failing that drag them down into obscurity by benching them for over half a year. This is a great tactic for lowballing fighters who still want to stay in your organization, but what about when a fighter wants nothing more to do with you than expose your evil business dealings?

That’s a good question, and fortunately Zuffa has once again provided us with a textbook example of what to do in that situation. In this case you’ve got beloved sports figure Randy Couture planning a press conference to tell people how bad the UFC sucks. Here’s what the UFC did to handle the situation:

1) Blamed the whole situation on Randy’s ‘Hollywood agent”. This is a brilliant case of deflection because, as we said, Randy is practically a saint in MMA. Shit-talking Randy Couture is akin to shit-talking Jesus himself. But everyone hates agents … ‘Hollywood’ agents doubly as much. By blaming this whole situation on a sleazy agent, Dana White is free to say whatever he wants without seeming like a gargantuan cock, and still pretend he’s BFF with Couture.

2) Invite Randy back to the negotiating table, and say things like you’ve “never said no to Randy Couture”. This sidesteps the issues of respect and dishonesty. In fact, it makes people forget that the only reason Randy would have to come back to the table is because his original contract might well have been written on a 2 foot dildo they subsequently raped him with.

3) Randy Couture planning a press conference to counter your PR spins? Who cares. You’re way better at press conferences, so why not throw an even bigger one 30 minutes before Randy’s? At best most press outfits will have to choose one of the two and will choose yours instead of his. At worst you can release enough positive news to bury whatever Randy has to say out from the headlines.

  • kentyman says:

    At some point it surpasses the definition of cut throat and is just textbook douchebaggery.

  • Really??? You would have THROWN money at Randy that was seemingly going way downhill after his losses to Chuck Liddell BEFORE you knew what he was going to do to Tim and Gabe?? I’m calling a severe case of “hindsight is 20/20” on you there.

    Does he deserve a HUGE renogiation after those fights and maybe a couple “OMG – keep this up, Randy” bonuses but I can’t imagine just throwing money at him 10 months ago – especially when they were the only game in town AND Randy was 44 and retired.

  • Uuuuuh … who’s saying anything about what anyone would have offered anyone in the first place?

  • Because you dogging on Dana (not that I’m usually a Dana defender but still) because of what he said in his interview on ESPN about Randy’s contract.

    Dana has a few lessons to learn about good PR vs bad PR that he thinks will be good because it’s “bad” but he had solid points in my opinion and I was on Randy’s side until I heard him spell it out.

    Hey, just my two cents – I’m not saying your post is stupid or out in left field or anything that extreme but I can certainly see BOTH sides to this argument. That’s all I’m saying.

  • Ah gotcha. Actually, that’s a valid point. I doubt very much that Randy was getting raped, and to say he deserved more money would be 20/20.

  • Thanks – you guys do a great job on here. Very entertaining and informative. Keep it up!

  • garth says:

    damn, it’s like a kissing booth in this here comment thread. I need to stir things up. fightlinker, you’ve obviously stuffed yourself so full of back bacon and moose pussy that you’re losing your edge (like on skates, get it? crazy canadians). I’d say nothing but Mickeys and White Castle til you get back on the horse.

  • Tommy says:

    Let’s face it, Randy is a bit of a bitch. How do you sign a contract happily and cry 8 months later when someone else is offered more? A man should finish what he promised he would do, then do what he wants. This really is other people like his agent and Ricky Bobby’s wife in his ear telling him what he should do. If he lost he would have told the UFC thanks for allowing him the chance. Since he won he quites them to go fight someone the UFC was unable to sign? A bitch move in my book. I would love to see him lose to Fedor and then have his check bounce.

  • garth says:

    Tommy…could it be that he signed in a hurry to get in on the title shot, with the UFC pushing hard and saying they’re renogotiate later? I don’t have any inside knowledge, but it’s a possibility. It certainly would make for the hard feelings that seem to exist.

  • Tommy says:

    Maybe Garth, but wouldn’t it be more honorable to go confront them rather then to send a letter of resignation to them and an Internet website? Warrior spirit huh. It’s like he did it for publicity. In Hollywood all publicity is good.

  • Matt says:

    I think the UFC holding a ‘conference call’. You could half ass pay attention to the UFC on your cell and still kick it at Randy’s press conference..

  • Matt says:


  • Frank says:

    In what sport, in which planet and in who’s imagination does a challenger from another organization get a bigger purse than the reigning champion? Are you people out of your fucking minds??? Randy had EVERY right to fight for the bigger purse, he IS 44 HIS priorities are different. Never critisize randy or his principles. He did the right thing, he’s not a BITCH. Those of you that want to see him fight, i dont blame you but be on his side, Dana = Sock fuzz stuck between your toes after a long run.

  • Mobb Deep says:

    Randy is not a bitch, but his Hollywood agent is.

  • Also keep in mind that Randy’s existing contract was rumored to be making him 3.25-3.75 million per fight after PPV bonuses … Fedor’s UFC offer was rumored to be somewhere around 2 million per fight. I agree that Randy deserved to make more than Fedor if they fought … but that never got to come up, did it?

  • stellar53 says:

    “At some point it surpasses the definition of cut throat and is just textbook douchebaggery.”

    It is called smart business tactics….always try and get one step ahead…..anyone that owns a successful business will tell you there is a time to be nice and there is a time to be strict….he is protecting his business and he is going to win……

  • kentyman says:

    stellar53, I of course agree.

    ‘Cept agreeing that the UFC has smart business tactics isn’t fun, and sure as hell doesn’t address the general douchebaggetom of this move. So I stand by my original statement.

  • Alex says:

    Great post. I saw this coming a mile away.

    Wanna bet that the UFC press confefence is delayed by 15 mins., and won’t start until 4:15PM?!

  • THE HUNTER says:

    Could you be on your knees any more sucking on Randy than you are?
    This sight sucks.

  • So does your speghlling