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8 more ways to fix the IFL

Fightlinker reader Prozac for Life beats me out on the funny-meter with his top eight suggestions for fixing the IFL. I made a slight tweak to one idea in order to meet federal requirements for homosexual references on this site.

  • Nullify UFC’s Roger Huerta effect and beat the UFC into Mexico. Appease the locals with familiar customs, perhaps settling fights that are too close to be called with the use of blindfolds and piñata sticks.
  • Ben Rothwell in a wig to kickstart the IFL women’s division.
  • Take Japan’s “freakshow fight fixation” to the next level. Forget Giant Silva, Hong-man Choi, and Zulu. How about a perturbed grizzly bear vs a full class of over-caffeinated preschool toddlers?
  • Distribute beachballs to the audience for a more festive atmosphere.
  • Nothing generates publicity like a sex tape scandal. Maybe it’s time for Bart Palaszewski to get caught in the act with Chris Horodecki and take one for the team. This guarantees better sales than the IFL’s “Knockouts” DVD, especially if Chris does his “Polish Hummer” move.
  • 1-up the UFC and move to a 9-sided cage; “Let’s get it on in the nonagon!”
  • Make the fighting area somewhat resemble an obstacle course, perhaps even containing a number of trick mirrors and a moat.
  • Double the number of people interested in the IFL by getting women to watch it; somehow infuse it with babies, celebrity dancing, tampons, and romance while keeping it action-packed.